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The Guernsey Lockdown Blog

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    “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” - Aristotle   Ok, Ok, I’ll write another blog, stop asking me. I have been inundated with requests to write another blog to cheer people up…well maybe not inundated…it was more a trickle of requests from close acquaintances…mainly from me…ok, it was just from me. But here you are, reading it again, so look who’s the idiot now, not me, definitely not me…ok it might be me. To be honest not much has happened since my last blog so I don’t really know what to write about…lol jokes, just kidding, enjoy!  66 hours…66 hours of freedom. I quarantined for 13 days to get 66 hours of freedom. Was it worth it? Was it?! I’m still working that one out. Yes, I get it, I was very privileged to be in that situation any way, only by way of my citizenship from birth. But if I’m being completely honest with myself and you, it sucks sooooo much. I had all these plans of going out and enjoying a Covid free life for a couple of we

Quaranti...Freedom Blog

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  “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.” Charlotte Bronte   And just like that he’s out. The obnoxious, unbearable, belligerent, patronising, self-centered, arrogant, callous, inconsiderate, hostile, domineering, deceitful, dogmatic, intolerant, obstinate, tactless, irresponsible, finicky, vulgar, Troglodyte is out of the house. And not just me, Donald Trump too. 20th January 2021, a day of freedom. Donald Trump may have blasted “My Way” by Frank Sinatra as he left the White House, but many other criminals also did things their way too, so don’t start flexing too soon Donald. As a new hope dawns on the USA, it sent ripples of hope across the world, yet a few ripples of hope extended beyond the walls of the Earlswood House too on this day, our Independence Day! Our day’s journey starts where all things must, at the beginning. Today’s the day, the sun is shining, the tank is clean and we are getting out of h…the tank is clean…THE TANK

Quarantine Blog - Day 12

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“The beginning is the most important part of the work” Plato I’ve always considered myself to be a particularly lazy individual, not lazy in a sense that I don’t do anything, but lazy in a sense of consistency. I know how things can be done and how you go achieving it most the time, but I just get lazy in actually achieving them. I suppose I never learnt to truly be accountable to the most important person in my life, myself. So i’ve decided to get absolutely shredded. Moreover, because I’m terrible at being 100% accountable to myself, I’ve teamed up with an online personal coach. I’ve never been fat/obese, but i’ve also never been the model for perfect healthy living, cue Deliveroo on speed-dial. For those who have read recent blogs, will have noticed my behavioural patterns in ordering KFC. I’ve got quite a slender body type, but I’ve always carried some flab, man tiddies to paraphrase. I’m not insecure about my body at all, in fact self-deprecation is a favoured source of humour f

Quarantine Blog - Day 11

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“You need to let the little things that would ordinarily bore you suddenly thrill you.” - Andy Warhol I stared at a rug yesterday for a good hour. I marvelled at it’s intricacies, the neutrality of its colours giving it an ability to just melt into the floor without subverting your eyes to it. In the middle of this rug, there is face of a Furby (a childhood toy). It looks quite psychedelic. The way the rug seems to reverberate out from the centre, it’s no wonder I was entranced. It also got me thinking of something I read about the human brain being wired to find faces in things and the power it has over us (“The Idiot Brain” by Dean Burnett for those who wish to read it). I still to this day see faces in things such as cars, it’s no wonder Disney decided to make a film about it, they could have come up with a better title though, rather than ‘Cars’. But it also goes to show why people see faces of Jesus everywhere, in places like toast, wooden boards, moulded fruit. The idea of seei

Quarantine Blog - Day 10

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We're onto double figures! So Sunday was not fun. All self-inflicted so I am by no means seeking out sympathy, but if you’re willing to give any it will be greatly appreciated. The good news is, Saturday to Sunday morning was probably the best uninterrupted sleep I’ve had all year. Presumably it was more unconsciousness than sleep, but I still enjoyed it more than any other so far. But I won’t drag on about, as I know sleepless night are not specific to me. On the subject of things that may or may not be specific to me, here are a few thing that really grind my gears: 1. People saying they didn't get enough sleep last night. 8 billion people on this planet didn't get enough sleep last night Chris, you’re not special. 2. Charity collectors. Now I don't mean little ol Doris’s collection for the poppy appeal. I mean these guys who look at you and smile a mile before you approach them. First off, do not assume my emotional response to a smile will be a welcoming gesture

Quarantine Blog - Day 9 (Slightly Short Edition)

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“Obviously the way I’ve drunk beer has matured in recent years” - Christopher Jehan 16th January 2021 Sunday is the day of rest so this is all you’re getting. It’s not because I’m incredibly hungover. I’m going to round up my weekend in tomorrow’s edition. If you think this is a cop out…then you are absolutely right. Sorry not sorry, I don't have to answer to you.

Quarantine Blog - Day 8

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  “Its Friday Thennnn, Saturday, Sunday! WHAT!  ITS FRIDAY THENNNN! SATURDAY SUNDAY! WHAT!  WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! GO! GO! GO! GO! AHHHHHHH!!!” There will never be Friday in my life where I will not hear this in my head. Just the thought of the word Friday brings the image of Mufasa dancing along side the car in his outrageous pineapple coloured, short sleeved shirt, red shorts, grey school socks and brown loafers. Instant Friday mood. Only Friday mood in quarantine is just daily mood for me, just a constant contentment for existing without having to do anything.  I was trying to think of something to write about today and I saw some notes I made on a previous date. When me and my friends meet up, we tend to talk lot of…well…shit. We have built a strong relationship based on a mutual hatred of each-other. I once accidentally called one of them and immediately hung up after realising my mistake of calling them in the first place, my reaction was to say "why would I want to talk him”